scarecrow poetics/essays

Say It With Flowers

fuck off
and leave
me alone

ornately arranged
by our
instore professionals.




In Hollywood

I heard that some of them bleach their arseholes.





Horoscope

Capricorn. Same as last month, only with Aries rising on the third Thursday you will experience a sense of déjà vu. Maybe you won’t know even know about it, but it’ll happen alright. Seek the stranger in the Wellington boots. Watch a Vin Diesel movie together.




Her Favourite Cheeses

haloumi
gouda
feta
emmenthal
dick



Confession #24

I like to
secretly watch
voyeurs.




ZZ Top

In England we should really call them Zed Zed Top




Celebricide

I’m scared
to leave
the house
in case
i accidentally
become famous.




Examination Question

Two prostitutes are walking down the street
towards one another. One is traveling at
3mph and the other has Chlamydia. Which
one is thinking about how accurate Pretty
Woman was in terms of authenticity? Your
answer should refer to Virilio’s urbanist theories.




Redhead

Your hair is so red and so long I want to throw a bucket of water over you every time you pass me on the street. I mean, that fire comes all the way down past your ass. You’re like a superior sequel to The Towering Inferno, where everyone lives happily ever after.




Myopia

Here kitty kitty
here kitty -
oh, it’s a
handbag.




Redundant Greek Gods

Herpes
Isosceles
Dunlop
Pessary
Biff
Pissoir
Bacchus-Bob Jr




Semantics

Unless the girls I’ve known have been doing it wrong, I still don’t understand why they’re called ‘blow jobs’.

Ben Myers © 2007.



I'm a street fighting writer, pugilist poet and hapless fly-fisherman. I have published a number of books and am a founder member of Captains Of Industry record label and The Brutalists (www.myspace.com/brutalists). I write lyrics for The Gulag. More details can be found: www.benmyers.com. My fiction has appeared in a number of collections and websites such as 3AM, Dogmatika, Zygote In My Coffee, Straight From The Fridge, Bookmunch, Blatt, LaurdHird.com, Dreams The Money Can Buy, Open Wide etc. I have also been known to write for publications such as Kerrang!, Alternative Press, Time Out, Plan B, Q, Bizarre, DrownedInSound, Melody Maker (RIP), Playlouder, Record Collector etc. I have nearly 3000 friends, and they all hang out in my one-room flat every night. I dream of apostrophes. I'm broke.